‘Star Wars: Episode II-Attack of The Clones’ Review

I found myself in a very fortunate position when I started reviewing ‘Attack of The Clones’. I had never seen the film, instead I found myself practicing a type of film celibacy, just waiting for the perfect moment to watch it. I finally had the opportunity to watch it since we here at SBM are reviewing each Star Wars film leading up to the release of ‘The Last Jedi’ (You can read our Episode I review right here). The film itself I’ve avoided due to all the complaints you’ve probably heard as well, not only for this film, but the prequels in general. I went in with a fresh set of eyes, completely ignoring standards and just watching the film as a fan and well, it was something…

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Let’s just get this off the way immediately, this is the WORST Star Wars film and it’s not even close. Not one bit. I thought that criticisms the film had were greatly exaggerated  and really not accurate but I see clarity in these now. I was more entertained by my self battle in trying not to fall asleep than the film itself. Saying this the film does have good moments in it (key word: moments), but it really isn’t enough to save this film from being hot garbage with a Star Wars stamp on it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Episodes I and III, but II really takes the ball and runs with it in regards to it being the prequel’s worst offering.

I’ll start by mentioning all the things I really didn’t enjoy about the film. The dialogue in the film is HORRENDOUS. Let me show you a very famous example:

Is this a good example? Yes. Was this line truly necessary? No, not at all. Is Hayden Christensen a bad actor? You try working with that script, THEN call me. I really stand by that last line. Is he a great actor? No, he truly isn’t, but all the fault can’t be just thrown at him like that, and I’m glad fans are starting to see this by showing him some more love at recent Star Wars events.

I could also talk about the CGI as well, but then again, this is 2017, that wasn’t so I’ll leave it at that.  I feel that pacing is a big issue with the film as it just drags for long periods of time with no interesting things developing. I’m not saying that I need action for two hours, but pacing can be a thing where action doesn’t necessarily determine the outcome of a great-paced film. There are a lot of things I could continue to mention as to why I think it’s the worst Star Wars film, but I have to mention positive aspects as well and I ain’t writing an analytical New York Times piece on why this is not a great film. Even thought these two things are my biggest gripes, it doesn’t mean the film is totally unwatchable (key word: totally).

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Watching Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan is always a treat, the truly redeemable quality of all three prequels. The Jedi Battle was great too, you know this (don’t lie to yourself). You also have to think about the things this film did for Star Wars lore. It gave fans an animated movie and TV series, as well as some great Battlefront maps. You can add in as well some other things like Jango Fett, Count Dooku, Lightsaber Choreography, etc. All of these things are small in the huge scope ‘Attack of The Clones’ goes for, which leads to my next and final point.

‘Attack of The Clones’ is what I call a moments movie. I would like to watch parts of it, but not the film as a whole, which speaks volumes of what I truly think of it. I don’t think that it’s grueling and unwatchable, but by any means this is not a good film. Period. It’s the worst of the Star Wars saga and thankfully we can only look back on it. That being said, you can’t say that the impact it had on the Star Wars universe was for the worst totally.

GRADE: 5.0./10

My ranking of the franchise:

1- A New Hope

2- Empire Strikes Back

3- Force Awakens

4- Rogue One

5-Revenge of the Sith

6- Return of the Jedi

7-The Phantom Menace

8- Attack of The Clones

6 thoughts on “‘Star Wars: Episode II-Attack of The Clones’ Review

  1. Hmm, I always wonder why there is so much hate for Hayden Christensen. No worries, I always respect other people’s opinions so I am not trying to start an argument here lol😂. But you said it yourself, the dialogue is often horrendous in this one. (And then I am especially talking about all the cringeworthy lovescenes). But his fall towards the dark side I think he does very well….as for instance can be seen in the scene where he has just killed all the Sandpeople and confesses it to Padme. But, if you really want to see if he can act, you might want to watch him in the movie Shattered Glass. Besides being a great film, he really has a terrific role in that one. Enjoyed reading your review, while I personally did not find this the worst Star Wars film though, that dubious honor for me is reserved for Episode I 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We need more people like you in the world, those who can state their opinion without creating chaos. I enjoy the Phantom Menace a little more than AOTC, but I could totally see why you would say that. I also agree with what you say about Shattered Glass, he shows what he can do with a good script and the ability to expand his acting.

      Liked by 1 person

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