Welcome to Badcast! A new way for you to kill time at work or something to read while ignoring your responsibilities! Here we will take a look at past films and reimagine them with a much different cast. This isn’t a reflection on the quality of the film or the talents of specific actors or actresses but instead looking at what could have been. 

This week’s film: Toy Story.

There WILL be spoilers for this 1995 animated film.

Woody – Clint Eastwood

Starting off with our protagonist of the film, a simple toy-cowboy living his best toy-life in this crazy toy-world. This cowboy suddenly has his entire world flipped upside down when a mysterious stranger enters his neck of the toy chest and wreaks havoc.

Woody is the ‘Sheriff’ of Andy’s bedroom and for a ‘Sheriff’, he’s a bit of a coward. He tiptoes around the problem of having this intruder disrupt everything before committing an attempted toy-murder. Tom Hanks did a respectable job of playing Woody but I think an actor with an inherently tough persona is needed to take charge of the situation and knows how to command a (bed)room. And who better than the director of Jersey Boys!

Sigourney Weaver – Buzz Lightyear

“To Infinity and Beyond!”

This phrase has become apart of the cultural lexicon. And deservedly so. It’s catchy, inspiring, and confuses the hell out of anyone with a general understanding of math.

Imagine the strong and powerful Ripley delivering that now infamous line. Weaver could easily show a gruffer side to the neon space ranger that would mesh with Eastwood’s equally gruff persona.

She also needs a fun, everlasting catchphrase since “Get away from her you b***h!” never caught on. It’s only fair since Tim Allen already has *Home Improvement noise* as his catchphrase.

Danny DeVito – Hamm

Just look at that smolder.

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Did you look at DeVito or Hamm? Doesn’t matter, this was the role he was made for.

Indominus Rex – Rex

The whole “I’m a dinosaur but I’m also a coward” shtick felt really drawn out for 90 minutes. Do you know what isn’t drawn out? A big-ass dinosaur running amok on a small island.

The Indominus Rex was the central character in Jurassic World and got completely passed over for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I, for one, think that’s unfair and want her to continue to have a career in Hollywood.

Granted, there probably isn’t much longevity for a movie starring toys. 2-3 movies max. Anything more would be overkill.

Vin Diesel – Sid

In the Fast and Furious franchise, Vin Diesel has a clause in his contract that says he cannot lose a fight and for that example of ridiculously threatened manhood alone, I want him to lose to a bunch of toys.

They’re both bald(ing), have a terrible understanding of basic physics and “Sid Diesel” makes me laugh uncontrollably.

Anyone In This Fish Mask I Found – Andy

It’s a miracle a generation of children weren’t traumatized by this kid. He had the soulless stare of every fish I’ve ever seen but walked like a person.

There you have it! A bunch of Grade-A casting choices that flew by the wayside. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let us know what your thoughts @superbromovies on Twitter and tweet us any bad casting choices you think should’ve happened! And be sure to check out last week’s Badcast right here.

-Kellen Murack

Toy Story is on VHS now!