Welcome to Badcast! A new way for you to kill time at work or something to read while ignoring your responsibilities! Here we will take a look at past films and reimagine them with a much different cast. This isn’t a reflection on the quality of the film or the talents of specific actors or actresses but instead looking at what could have been. 

This week’s film: La La Land

This article will contain a spoiler for Moonlight La La Land. You’ve been warned.

Sebastian – Rowlf The Dog

At the center of this ode to Hollywood we have our male lead, Sebastian. Sebastian is a suave, charismatic individual who shows Mia and the audience how powerful jazz music can be on an individual. To prepare for the role, Ryan Gosling spent 3 months practicing multiple hours a day to really master the piano the way he needed to for the film. Wouldn’t it have been easier to cast a piano savant from the get-go?

Ryan Gosling does a passable job at being “charismatic” and “attractive” but what this film really needed was a rugged, straight man (dog) with a love of the arts. This is Rowlf to a tee. I imagine he was offered the role but turned it down because it was too similar to his character “Rowlf” from The Muppet Movie. 

Seriously, the characters from both movies are way too similar.

Mia – Annie

I really hate to take away Emma Stone’s Oscar winning role BUT I am giving work to an orphan so I think it balances itself out.

When recasting Mia I wanted to focus on an actress with outstanding acting/dancing/and singing ability and Little Orphan Annie fits inside all of categories perfectly. She is also a natural redhead which edged her past Demi Lovato and Mary Poppins by a spoonful. Annie has been in this business for over 40 years and still has no recognition outside of her own franchise. She’s the Sylvester Stallone of musicals.

Keith – Ed Sheeran

In the role of Keith, the smooth-talking lead guitarist who convinces Sebastian to join as the band’s keyboardist, we now have the UK’s American sweetheart, Ed Sheeran.

Similar to Ryan Gosling learning to play piano, John Legend had to learn enough about guitar to act like he knew how to play it. All the while, Ed Sheeran was out there waddling around with his guitar and his big doughy eyes just screaming for a role in a movie. #GetSheeranInTheMovies

Tracy, Alexis, Caitlin – The Three Caballeros

Three talented singers in distinguishably bright colors of varying diversities?

Easy.

David – Justin Long

David, Mia’s husband 5 years later, is there to personify the separate lives Sebastian and Mia have chosen after their breakup. He symbolizes Mia’s new acting life and the success it has brought. This is juxtaposed to the fantasy Sebastian and Mia see, after being apart for all these years, and realizing that even though they would’ve found happiness in each other, neither one found the success in their respective fields that they craved. This character is the lynchpin in the thematics of the film and helps to drive that home in a heart-wrenching final scene.

F*&#ing. Hire. Justin. Long.

There you have it! A bunch of Grade-A casting choices that flew by the wayside. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let us know what your thoughts @superbromovies on Twitter and tweet us any bad casting choices you think should’ve happened! And be sure to check out last week’s Badcast right here.

-Kellen Murack

La La Land is on Blu-Ray and Digital now!