Welcome to Badcast! A new way for you to kill time at work or something to read while ignoring your responsibilities! Here we will take a look at past films and reimagine them with a much different cast. This isn’t a reflection on the quality of the film or the talents of specific actors or actresses but instead looking at what could have been.
This week’s film: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
This week will NOT contain spoilers for the franchise.
Newt Scamander – Ewan McGregor
J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World is back in full-swing! But not the park “swing” you wanted; it’s more of a weird, old, tire-swing your Uncle built in his backyard because he thought it would look good hovering above his dead grass and broken lawnmower. It may not be the swing you wanted, but it’s better than nothing.
This prequel series is off to a slightly above average start. The star of it, Eddie Pink-Horsehair, does an okay job as the protagonist. He plays up the social awkwardness a bit too much and doesn’t have the confidence in what he’s doing. In other words, he’s lacking that necessary “oomf” to carry a prequel franchise.
Enter: Ewan McGregor. This Scott has the charisma and acting ability to make you invested in this world prior to the more exciting film outings. He knows when to back-off while his co-stars are on fire in order to let them have their moment but also can chew up the scenery as needed.
I’d give two legs and an arm to have him carry this new series.
Tina Goldstein – Natalie Portman
Tina Goldstein: The Auror You Never Knew You Didn’t Care About.
Before I start, I need to say I love Katherine Waterson. She’s incredible in Inherent Vice and her brief appearance in Logan Lucky. With that said, there is no personality to this character and it hurts to watch. It might be because of the script but since this isn’t Badscripting, I’m going to focus on the casting.
Natalie Portman does an incredible job playing characters you didn’t need to know but are grateful you did. From Black Swan to Thor: The Dark World, her filmography is extremely varied and shows a multifaceted actress in need of a new franchise. I especially loved her in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. She would be perfect to spout out long, expositional dialogue while also being able to show all the emotions an Auror needs to show: happy, angry, jealous and sad.
She’d kill at being sad.
Jacob Kowalski – Martin Freeman
This prequel series introduced a muggle (I’m not acknowledging the other moniker) who is slowly introduced to the magical world and reacts how any of us would, completely accepting and in no way concerned for his mental health. He is thrust into an adventure he was not prepared for but faces the challenges head-on!
Martin Freeman has had to do that for not one but TWO different franchises. He starred in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: Thank God It’s The Last One. He was also in an idie film earlier this year where he had to react to a mystical/magical world very different from his own and come to terms with it. It may be type-casting but when the Vibranium shoe fits….
Similar to The Hobbit franchise, Freeman knows how to work under pressure when the franchise increases the number of films from a reasonable amount to a metric f*ck-ton.
Queenie Goldstein – Evangeline Lilly
Queenie is the sister of Tina and is also a witch with a very caring and bubbly demeanor. She also slowly gets the hots for a member of the opposite species(?) (Potterheads, are Muggles and Wizards considered different species?) This romantic interest is looked down upon by the society she is apart of but rules be damned!
Evangeline Lilly needs another franchise now that she’s Dust in the Wind. She would be perfect at playing a crazy powerful character in love with a “lesser” being. I know this because it seems to be a recurring theme in unnecessary prequel films.
Credence Barebone – Hayden Christensen
So insanely powerful the villain wants to use him for their own nefarious purposes but fail to explain how recruiting them would change anything? F#&ing CHECK!
Gellert Grindelwald – Tilda Swinton
The big bad, pale-faced, pedophile mustached villain of this prequel series, Grindelwald. Johnny Depp is being selfish at this point, stealing all the big franchise roles to help pay for his scarf and ring addiction. Let’s spread the wealth, Deppopotamus.
Grindelwald is supposed to make the audience uncomfortably by the way he acts but also be capable of commanding a room. Despite having two and a half lines in this film (I’m sure the sequel is a different story), I was not on board with this casting.
Throw Tilda Swinton in her White Witch outfit and makeup from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and I’m so on board. That character still sends shivers down my spine years later, which a good villain should do.
There you have it! A bunch of Grade-A casting choices that flew by the wayside. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let us know what your thoughts @superbromovies on Twitter and tweet us any bad casting choices you think should’ve happened! And be sure to check out the previous Badcast right here.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of a Domestic Abuser in theaters now!