Welcome to Badcast! A new way for you to kill time at work or something to read while ignoring your responsibilities! Here we will take a look at past films and reimagine them with a much different cast. This isn’t a reflection on the quality of the film or the talents of specific actors or actresses but instead looking at what could have been.
This week’s film: Glass.This article will contain MINOR spoilers for Glass.
David Dunn – Stanley Tucci
David Dunn: The man, who at the age of 40-something, discovered he can’t be injured and can bench press WAY more than the average human. This is not a smart man. He had never put this together at any point in his life? C’mon dude.
Stanley Tucci is America’s Friend’s Dad. He’s the guy who will sneak you a beer at a BBQ or find the coolest single bedroom apartment when the divorce is finalized. He is a smart man who is relatable. Let’s make him indestructible and super strong.
Elijah Price – Damon Wayans
Elijah Price aka The Mastermind aka Mr. Glass. This man is SO smart they had to give him TWO super-villain names. Everyone talks about how busy Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is but never how busy Samuel L. Jackson is. The man is in everything AND he’s twice as old as The Rock.
For the sake of Mr. Jackson, I’m offering the new casting of Damon Wayans. Wayans has been a comedian his whole life and needs to branch out a little bit. Plus, he has already worked with Bruce Willis in The Last Boy Scout so it’s safe to assume he knows what to expect from the man.
Kevin/Patricia/Hedwig/Dennis – James McAvoy
There was no way I could replace James McAvoy as ‘The Horde’ and Kevin. The man became these various personalities and gave a bone-chilling performance in Split and gave the audience a villain they hated to root against. Patricia: The Leader; Hedwig: The One With The Most Control and Dennis: The Muscle.
With that, Kevin also needs to be played by McAvoy. The abused, sympathetic host of all 24 personalities. Even with limited screen time as Kevin, we saw the fear in McAvoy’s performance as a survivor of domestic abuse brought upon by his mother.
Barry – James McAvoy But With A Scarf
Barry is the fashionista who shows off his fashion sense. What’s more fashionable than a scarf? Seriously, I truly don’t know.
Jade – James McAvoy But With Diabetes And A Bra That’s Too Big
Jade may be one of the most important personalities. She shows the audience that each personality can have differing physical characteristics unique to them, such as diabetes.
She’s also a teenage girl who needs something to support her changing body so why not a brazier she can grow into.
Orwell – James McAvoy But With A Monocle
Orwell, the super intelligent historian with an extensive vocabulary.
Dude needs a monocle.
Luke – James McAvoy But He Always Has Chewing Tobacco In
All we know about Luke is he’s from the South and enjoys spoiling movies. It’s easy to do that AND gross everyone out by spitting every third *ptoo* word.
Mr. Pritchard – James McAvoy But With Two Monocles, A Fedora & A False Sense of Superiority
We only get a quick snippet of Mr. Pritchard, who proudly exclaims he’s a professor of Japanese cinema, and I was heavily surprised he didn’t follow that up with “M’lady.”
Ann & Mary Reynolds – James McAvoy But With Red Hair & A Pot O’ Gold
The Irish Reynolds twins are the only personalities that can occupy “The Light” simultaneously. I assume they used their magical Lucky Charms to pull that off.
The Beast – All Of The Above
Good luck trying to sleep for the next week. The Beast will always be out there correcting grammar when it doesn’t matter, getting drunk on Jameson and having an uncomfortably warm neck.
There you have it! A bunch of Grade-A casting choices that flew by the wayside. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let us know what your thoughts @superbromovies on Twitter and tweet us any bad casting choices you think should’ve happened! And be sure to check out the previous Badcast right here.
Glass is shattering your expectations in theaters now.